The Day That Nobody Could Literally Even.

Today was different, so I thought I'd blog about it.

Overall, my days this school year have been pretty tame. Discipline issues? Nah. Parent issues? Nonexistant. Drama? Minimal.

But today.

Something was in the water today.

I think this dog illustrates what my brain was doing inside of my head from eight to three o' clock:

 This year I work with kids in every grade--and in EVERY GRADE something was off.

It started with the third graders. We were reading a passage about helper dogs, and as any third grade teacher knows, the most discussion that will ever be generated in a third grade class happens when you say the word "dog". 

"MY DOG LOOKS LIKE THAT PICTURE."

"ONE TIME MY DOG _____."

"MY NANNY DOESN'T LIKE MY DOG."

"MY DOG ______ ONE TIME."

"MY DOG DIED LAST YEAR."

"MY DOG LIKES TREATS."

Second grade was no better. Our story was about Louis Braille. I don't know how many times this conversation happened:

"Why was Louis Braille's alphabet important?"

"It helped blind people see."

"But...they...no."

My seventh grade group was as unintelligible as a vine video on repeat. 

Me: *talking about the article we're reading, which is about the Paris attacks*

Seventh grader: "Hey, when you went to China, didn't you say they had toilets that weren't real toilets?"

And as they were leaving: 

Seventh grader 1: "China's got better security so they don't get blown up."

Seventh grader 2: "It's like 'Die, Hitler, die!'" 

I just. Huh? What? Hitler?

Then there were my fourth graders.

Me: "Did I tell you that I'm going to get married?"

Fourth grader with a shirt over his head: "I have a turtle shell."

Me: "What would happen if the settlers crossed over into the Indians' land?"

Fourth grader: "They would all DIE. DIE. DIEeeeeeeeaaaaahahahahahahaaa!!!"

Even the eighth grader couldn't keep her brain straight while we were reading Hatchet.

Me: "Why was Brian excited to find the berries?"

Her: ".....because they were RED."

Me: "He hasn't eaten in two days and he's excited about them being red? Is that what you would say if you hadn't eaten in two days? 'Oh, I'm so hungry, look how brown this hamburger is!'"

Eighth grader: *can't stop laughing*

My first grader was upside down and sideways in her chair at one point, between pulling things off of my shelves and needing to use the bathroom.

Fifth grade didn't understand anything I was saying, and sixth grade really just wanted to talk about relationships and the new Hunger Games movie (the latter, at least, was related to our reading the actual book together. Which is what we're doing. And I personally think it's awesome).

I finished the school day feeling close to what a normal day last year felt like.

Then, at five o' clock, I went back to my old school to watch the girls' JV game--which was a little awkward but 100% worth it. Nothing beats kids yelling your name as soon as they see you...except having heart-to-heart talks with them afterwards. I saw four of my kids, but they told me about some of my other kids as well, and I felt completely pathetic about how excited I was just to know how my troublemakers were doing.

The day was weird, hilarious, and fulfilling.

I love my kids.

I love my job.

That's all.