To My Future Valentine.

Dear Future Husband, Roommate, Co-habitating Cat Partner, or Anyone Who Loves Me Next Year,

In the silent hours of Winter Break and Icepocalypse 2015, I have had time to ruminate over last week's Valentine's Day. Was it acceptable? Yes. I received the standard chocolates and hugs. But it was missing something....

more.

So I thought I'd pen this list of anticipated gifts, which you, my future Caring Person, are responsible for someday accommodating. 

(These gifts are in no particular order.)

1. Eighteen of these, which might last me through a school year.

That's over 2500 pencils.

My children devoured 288 in January alone, despite my pencil-saving tactics.

There's also something incredibly alluring about fresh pencils.

2. A giant chocolate fountain. 

With Ghirardelli and somebody to clean it for me.

And maybe a straw.

3. Something to snuggle with when I'm tired of anything that can breathe or make noise on its own.

Like these.

Or these.

Or this.

4. A Sweet Talking Ken Doll.

For when I still don't want to be around anything that breathes, but would like to hear nice things said to me.

5. Richard Simmons. 

For snow or Icepocalypse days.

And times when I feel lonely, or just consumed an entire Ghirardelli chocolate fountain.

6. Snow powers.

7. Chinese fried green beans. 

Every day for a year.

Or you could just fly me to China every couple of months.

Your choice.

8. A castle.

Here is a list of websites where you could search for one:

http://www.castlesandmanorhouses.com/chateauxforsale.htm

http://www.businessinsider.com/10-awesome-castles-you-can-buy-right-now-2012-10

http://www.prestigeproperty.co.uk/CastlesForSale/Properties.asp

http://www.target.com/c/dollhouses-dolls-toys/-/N-5xt8v

We'd look good with a castle.

Uh.

9. This bed. Preferably after a long day.

10. Finally, a karaoke machine. 

So I can make money out on the streets during the summer.

Until then, these memes will hold me over: 

Happy Future Valentine's--to us!